The other morning I called to Mr. Pear from the kitchen, "You can't stay in bed all morning!"
The fact that I was already up and in the kitchen before he got out of bed is noteworthy in and of itself. Close readers know that this teenage mommy does not get out of bed until Mr. Pear brings her a hot cup of something. However, I was feeling extraordinarily well rested and therefore, rose quite cheerily and made my own hot cup of tea and hot buttered crumpets (I brave the Trader Joes parking lot for these and these alone).
"Oi! Pear!!!" I called a little louder.
"It's not going to give me bedsores!"
It's true. We have a new bed and, among other things, the new bed is engineered not to give one bedsores. We could lay in it all day long, every day, if we wanted to, to no ill effect.
It is not organic. Nor is it a futon. Nor is it king-sized, but it is some ultra-cushy Swedish memory foam that makes me conk out practically the minute my head hits the pillow (which is also new and made of that cushy Swedish memory foam).
However, I think it might be too comfortable. I fall asleep immediately and don't move for hours. This makes my muscles feel a bit funny when I do get up. And usually, I get up because my bladder is bursting because I haven't tossed and turned and gotten up to empty it before the bursting point. Then I have to hobble to the toilet and hobbling makes me feel old and decrepit. The new bed is also, we have discovered, not very conducive to cuddling. Our fancy Swedish memory foam pillows are quite heavy, so I can't tuck my arm under them when I am the cuddler. I have to lay with my arm sort of mushed in between my burgeoning torso and Mr. Pear's back. It is clearly to one's advantage to be the cuddlee in this situation. I can't lay all the blame on the pillows (especially when they cradle my head so gently and require no nocturnal punching and rearranging). When we had our other bed, we would take advantage of the inevitable tossing and turning and switching sides to cuddle back in. There is no tossing and turning in this bed, so no opportunities to cuddle back in. Therefore, I wake up feeling...well, feeling not very cuddled.
And, even worse than the cuddling (is it? the lack of cuddling is pretty bad), I think it may be too soft. A familiar backache has reintroduced itself. It is the same backache I get after sleeping for more than a couple of nights on the expensive cushy mattress at my parent's house, and the expensive cushy mattress at my father in law's house, and yikes! the expensive cushy mattress I slept on when I lived with The Fridge many, many years ago and basically all the beds I ever slept on until I met Mr. Pear and his very firm futon.
Or it could be the unfamiliar backache of a lady with a big expanding belly falling asleep on her back and crushing everything in between. Yeah, it could be that. Or it could be something else...
Bad time to buy a bed, I think. I mean, it's a good time, because I really needed it and could not sleep on the crappy futon anymore, but a bad time, because what if this ultra comfortable bed is the right bed for me, but I just don't know it because my body is in a transitional phase at the moment and therefore, unable to judge my new bed. What if????
We have 120 days to change our minds. There was a bed just like this one at the friendly Swedish bed shop, but a little less cushy. I think that one might be the perfect bed. Or maybe it would be for a pregnant lady, but not so for a no longer pregnant lady.
The anguish.
ETA: Duh! Swiss, not Swedish!
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