She makes all the lesbians scream.

So, whenever I hear these fucking wingnuts straight people going off on why the gays shouldn't get married, I always think, "Really? It bothers you that much?"

Because honestly, if you're not gay and you don't travel in gay circles, just how big of an impact does it have on your day to day existence if two ladies up the block want to file their taxes together or have next of kin privileges at the hospital? How does that threaten your marriage? Not that I'm able to grasp any of their hateful, ignorant argument, but in particular, the bit about their own marriages being threatened, maybe I'm stupid, but I just don't quite get that one...at all.

At any rate, the other day, we were out walking the dog. There's this house we always walk past. Before the election the yard was plastered with those hateful Yes on 8 signs and at Christmas, there was this big inflatable Jesus in the yard. Yeah...some haters. Got to bring Jesus (you know, that peaceful love your neighbor guy in the hip sandals?) into it.

Anyway, I'm walking up towards the house and I do this double take. And I real quick look over at Mr. Pear and he's just done a double take as well. Because standing in the front yard is this very (stereotypically) butch lady. She's got her severely short hairstyle, her steel rimmed glasses. No flannel shirt, but a sort of shapeless thermal top and a swagger. My gaydar wasn't just beeping - it was like an air raid siren going off.

That poor woman must be that family's Mary Cheney! was what immediately came to mind...but then this other lady I recognized from the neighborhood walked up and they started chatting and it was clear, from their conversation, that this wasn't their lesbian daughter or cousin or sister come over for a visit, but this was the planter of the Yes on 8 signs and the owner of the inflatable Jesus herself!

No wonder the gays intimidate this poor bewildered woman! They must be licking their 'staches at her every time she pulls up next to them in her Toyota Tacoma! Every time she's mulling over the tool selection at Home Depot, they must be cruising the poor thing and asking if they don't know her from line dancing! This tease must be getting the reckless eyeball from every lesbian between here and the Sierra Nevadas!

So, I think I get it...a little. As far as she's concerned, the gays are coming to get her. Those lesbians especially. Come on over to the dark side, they beckon. All. the. time. Don't give her a moments rest.

She must be vigilant with her yard signs.