One thing I will not miss is the playground/dog-park combo down the street. You might think this would be a win-win situation, since I have children and a dog, but it's really not. My boy needs all of my attention while he attempts to scale new heights at every playground visit, so unless Mr. Pear is with us and available to keep an eye on our dog, we leave her at home.
It would appear that the playground/dog-park combo attracts less families with dogs, and more child-free haters who have nothing better to do than to come to the park every afternoon with their ill behaved, decidedly not under-voice-control dogs, and let them not only crap all over the field, but mark every last vertical space on the playground, despite numerous signs posted requesting they keep their dogs on the field (and, by the way, pick up their crap)..
So yesterday, I'm at the park, and this big old golden retriever takes a massive dump on the grass within about four feet of the sandpit. I look around. Is anyone on this dog? Apparently not. Some youngish guy who'd been sitting nearby makes a stinkface and gets up and moves away from the massive dump. He's with some other dog.
No one is paying any attention to Old Golden. He lumbers over to the play structure and casually lifts his leg. A surprisingly vigorous stream of piss splatters in the sand, and up a pillar. I attempt to shoo the dog. It blinks at me. Finally, some old man notices and starts walking towards the playground. I give him a smile and a friendly wave, "Is this your dog? He left us a little present on the hillside there."
Despite my friendly approach, it all goes downhill from there.
Old Man gumbles at me: I'm moving him!
PPP: Yeah, that's fine. Hey, the poop's right over there.
Old Man and Old Golden walk off in the other direction. I give him the benefit of the doubt. There is a handy little poop sack dispenser on the other side of the field. But after a few feet, Old Man just stops and stands. I give him a minute.
PPP raising my voice a little. Maybe he's deaf: Are you going to get this?
Old Man glares at me.
PPP, cheerily picking up my barefooted boy: Do you need a baggie?
I start off across the field, grab a bag from the dispenser. Old Man glares at me as I walk back across the field, but as soon as it becomes apparent that I am headed straight for him, to give him the bag, he quickly looks away and starts to walk in the opposite direction.
PPP: Am I really going to have to pick up after your dog myself?
Old Man: You do whatever you wanna do, lady!
PPP is momentarily speechless and just staring at him.
Old Man looks around: What the hell are you staring at?
PPP: Well aren't you neighborly?
Old Man sort of...hoots? Barks?: Whatever.
PPP bent over and scooped Old Golden's nasty turd.
So nasty, I know. But if I hadn't, some poor kid would undoubtedly have stepped in it. You know what's more disturbing than Old Man and his totally anti-social behavior? The fact that not a single other person stepped in. Not even the young guy who I know saw the whole thing from beginning to end (and apparently took great delight in watching my whole interaction with Old Man).
This is why I'm convinced the whole playground/dog-park combos attract malicious child-free haters intent on deliberately leaving little presents for the kids to step in. I've accompanied Tanky to dog parks for several years now, and I have to say that this particular park with the playground has more abandoned turds than any other park I've visited, including the totally illegal impromptu dog park in the woods back in DC. I mean, if ever there was a place to nonchalantly whistle and look off into the distance and pretend you didn't see your dog take a giant dump, it would be in an undeveloped clearing in the woods, but no way! If you so much as delayed picking up after your dog while you fumbled in your pocket for a recycled Safeway bag, everyone would be all over you, "Who's on the black lab?!?!" "This little Maltese just dropped a number two!" You better be standing there, plastic mitt on, hovering over a pile so fresh it's still steaming!
Asshole Old Man is so lucky I had my boy present, and therefore had my Modeling Good Citizenship hat on, because otherwise? Otherwise, he would have found himself wearing that not quite closed properly bag of poo, and let me tell you, my aim would have been true.
